CONFLICT MATTERS / FIELD GUIDE 01
Locate the tension
A conflict map before a proposed solution.
When to use it: Use when a disagreement is unclear, recurring, or being reduced to one person’s behavior.
1. Describe the moment
Separate an observation from your interpretation. “The agenda changed after I prepared” is different from “They wanted to exclude me.”
2. Look through three lenses
Self: what am I protecting or assuming? Relationships: what needs to be heard or repaired? Conditions: what roles, resources, history, or authority shape what happens?
3. Explore what matters
Write your concerns and possible consequences. Turn ideas about other people’s interests into questions to check.
4. Choose an inquiry
Name the most useful missing piece of information. Decide whether the next step is to ask, pause, change the process, or get support.
“Before we settle on a solution, what matters most to each of us—and what do we still need to understand?”
Leave with: One observed event, one important concern, one question to ask.
Practice: Practice with a low-stakes disagreement first. Ask a partner to identify where your description moves from observation to inference.
Work through a situation
A deadline moves after work has been assigned. What do you know, what are you inferring, and what might the timing or authority structure explain?
What you will be able to do
Distinguish an observation, an interpretation, a concern, and a condition.
Questions for reflection
Where did your account move from observation to inference? What would change your understanding?
Try it between sessions
Ask one clarifying question or collect one missing fact; note what changed.
My next step
New worksheet synthesized from Jack Becker’s mediation preparation, conflict foundations, and public-process training. The interests distinction is informed by Roger Fisher, William Ury, and Bruce Patton, Getting to Yes. Interest-based negotiation background. Working curriculum · Emergent Matters. Sources & acknowledgments.
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